Family Values

According to a New York Times article, there are only 15 shelter beds available in San Francisco for what local service providers estimate is a population of homeless lesbian and gay youth numbering in the thousands. Studies indicate that these youth are far more likely to have left home because they were abused or neglected by their parents, and that they are far more likely to attempt suicide while on the streets. When they do seek shelter, mainstream providers are ill-trained and equipped to provide adequate support, often ignoring or even aggravating the harassment and discrimination these youth experience.

Years ago, I worked for more than two years at the Open Door Shelter for homeless youth in Chicago, operated by The Night Ministry. Since a number of our staff were lesbian or gay, we were able to provide a more nurturing environment for LGBT youth than many places, but it was challenging dealing with the homophobia of both shelter residents and service providers. Moreover, gay and lesbian adults were often reticent to offer help, for fear of the stereotypes of us as sexual predators or pederasts.

Gay and lesbian youth are far too often thrown out of their homes by parents who reject them, only to be abandoned by the adult lesbian and gay community who see them as a threat to their own hard-won security and acceptance. What is to be done?

Our public and private social service agencies need to develop professional shelter and case management services specific to the needs of lesbian and gay youth. The Church as a place of sanctuary should be in the forefront of advocacy for safe places to serve the needs of these vulnerable young people. Gay and lesbian adults need to be willing to offer mentoring to them, serving as positive role models who provide hope for the future.

More generally, the Church needs to help families to deal with the coming out process to prevent gay and lesbian youth from ending up on the street. Parents need to be held accountable to their responsibilities to their children and given the support they need to fulfill those responsibilities, and children need to be assured that they are loved and accepted as God's beloved. The Church can play a vital, healing, and reconciling role here, if it has the will to do so.

A Church that teaches the normalcy of gay and lesbian people as one variety of mature human flourishing would result in a lot fewer gay and lesbian youth on our streets. Real family values means valuing all the members of your family - including the lesbian and gay members.

An Unfortunate Oversight?

Guess how many of the forty members of The Episcopal Church’s Executive Council are lesbian or gay?

The answer is eight.

Twenty percent of the elected leaders of the Church’s most important governing body in between General Conventions are lesbian and gay clergy and laity from around the country. This is reflective of the talent, dedication, and service that this small minority of the church’s membership offers to the whole. It is a testament to the esteem in which gay and lesbian Christians are held by our sisters and brothers.

Now, guess how many of these lesbian and gay leaders are serving on the Executive Council committee appointed to respond to the Communiqué from the Anglican Primates’ meeting in Tanzania?

The answer is zero.

Despite the fact that two of the three requests made of our Church by the Primates’ Communiqué bear directly on the lives, relationships, and vocations of our Church’s lesbian and gay members, none of the lesbian or gay leaders on Executive Council were appointed to the committee drafting our Church’s response to these requests. Once again, our straight sisters and brothers assume the right to represent us, even when we are sitting at the table and can speak for ourselves!

This is called heterosexist privilege. Can you imagine a response to, say, requests about the ordination of women being drafted without women being in the room? Can you imagine a statement about racism being drafted without people of color in the room? I think you get the picture.

Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori and House of Deputies President Bonnie Anderson are good-hearted people. They care about the lesbian and gay member of our Church. They are on record as supporting our full inclusion in the life and ministry of the Church.

Even so, their good intentions are readily subverted by the dynamic of heterosexist privilege operative in the decision-making structures of our Church. Their failure to insure that lesbian and gay leaders participate in drafting a response to requests for moratoria on gay bishops and blessing same-sex unions isn’t just an unfortunate oversight. It is an unconscionable, even if unconscious, participation in unjust power dynamics that exclude and silence us.

Write to Bishop Katharine and President Bonnie Anderson to urge them to expand the drafting committee to include lesbian and gay members of Executive Council. This is an opportunity to educate them and appeal to their better natures. They are strong, compassionate, and wise women who can handle it when we hold them accountable.

While you are at it, let them know that members of Executive Council, including some gay and lesbian members, should be invited to participate in the September House of Bishops’ meeting with Archbishop Rowan Williams. He needs to hear from all the orders of ministry in our Church, and Bishop Gene Robinson should not be the only (out) lesbian or gay voice in the room. That is an unfair burden for him or anyone else to bear.

The presence of so many of us on Executive Council, and the current visit of openly gay Nigerian human rights activist (and Anglican) Davis Mac-Illya to the United States, reminds us of how far we have come and of how far we have yet to go in terms of the full inclusion of lesbian and gay people in the life and ministry of the Anglican Communion. Let us pray that all of our voices are heard as important decisions are made in the coming days and months.